Disappointment
Those who know me, know that I am not childish. But childish or not, again I have the dam failure feeling regarding school. I had yesterday the second marketing exam [I failed the first one] and now it was even worse. Not because I didn't know what to write, but simply because I had so much pressure on me: time - I am too slow; circumstances - so many students, I didn't have not even enough space on the desk and I was interrupted so many times; fear - not of failure, but of disappointment.
This is where I wanted to get to. Not just in this particular case, but in general, I do things just not to disappoint somebody. I know what they expect from me and then my biggest fear becomes not to meet those expectations. I don't do everything for myself, but for the others... NOW how stupid is this from me?
In this case, I don't want to disappoint two persons: Jorgen and my teacher. Jorgen is also a teacher in Sweden, but mostly he is my friend. He was here two weeks ago and he helped me in studying, it felt so good and I was so sure It will be more then fine. Now... why my teacher? he didn't do anything special, but I respect and admire him so much. He is more than just a good teacher and this is why I want to have the best result in the exam and not disappoint him. BUT, he doesn't know this, I never told him, so I don't think it will like this for him. THEN... how stupid is this from me?
This is where I wanted to get to. Not just in this particular case, but in general, I do things just not to disappoint somebody. I know what they expect from me and then my biggest fear becomes not to meet those expectations. I don't do everything for myself, but for the others... NOW how stupid is this from me?
In this case, I don't want to disappoint two persons: Jorgen and my teacher. Jorgen is also a teacher in Sweden, but mostly he is my friend. He was here two weeks ago and he helped me in studying, it felt so good and I was so sure It will be more then fine. Now... why my teacher? he didn't do anything special, but I respect and admire him so much. He is more than just a good teacher and this is why I want to have the best result in the exam and not disappoint him. BUT, he doesn't know this, I never told him, so I don't think it will like this for him. THEN... how stupid is this from me?
2 Comments:
Hai ma fata ca nu e asa rau cum pare ...
Te-ai zapacit si ai picat examenul. Mare lucru. In plus examenul ala il dai pentru tine nu pentru altii, si crede-ma ei stiu asta.
Cu drak,
Zeno.
da stiu... trebuie sa ma plang.. cause I have to :)
Luni aflu rezultatul, poate poate nu-l pic.
mersi de suport.
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